I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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