That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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