Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
