This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
