My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize