My first STD was from a foam party
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
