PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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