at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
