I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
