Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
