Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
