You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
