i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
