Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
