I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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