he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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