No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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