hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
