There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Randomize
