i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize