let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
