when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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