You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
