HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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