Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
