You're my little dorito
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hippo gnu deer
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
BRING THE BAGELS
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
