Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
