I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
