Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
