Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think i have two assholes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My vagina is officially offended.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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