what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
