just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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