Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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