when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize