um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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