I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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