Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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