He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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