"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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