I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
