Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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