I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize