Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Boobs speak an international language.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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