But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
