I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
