Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize