Yo dont text me then not text me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
