How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
