just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
