She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
