This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
