She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
