Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
