i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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