I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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