if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
