he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
