bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
