I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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