just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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