You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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