Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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