he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Randomize
