I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
