remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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